Um.. so, hi, I'm gonna let out something I concealed for a very long time...
During my primary 5, I was kind of attracted by a guy. In my eyes, he was perfect, and I waited everyday after school, just to see him leave without him realizing I was there. I was obsessed by this, and I knew I was in big big trouble. First of all, I did not want to affect my studies(luckily it did not) secondly, I knew I was too young for this. But the problem was, I just cannot help it. Worst of it all was he seemed to hate me.
I stayed in school to wait for him when I did not have to stay. I wrote weird love letters but did not dare give any of them to him. I was out of control, I was crazy, I lost friends, wasted time, and I was really guility to think about this kind of 'love story' thing as a kid back then. But did I have any other choices? Maybe I did. But I couldn't. When he said I was ugly, thought I knew perfectly I wasn't, I felt like getting hit by a gigantic stone and couldn't ever stand up anymore. I did not care about anything else except what he said.
In primary 6, when I became a more popular person, I managed to make friends with him but he never replied my messages. Just a friend? At that time I was really satisfied with just being friends, but I couldn't help stomping and crying when I see him with another girl, or even hear rumors of him and another girl.
I did not know what he thought of me. But I knew that he has none of 'that' feeling towards me...
Right now it has lasted for 2 years and I still dream of getting together with him even I know I should not! What, what must I do? Being 13 years old does not have the priority to fall in love! Please... He and me has gotten into different schools and what if missing him affect my studies? Oh my god, am I insane?
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